| We all have to deal with critical people at times. | | | | move on. Instead of dwelling on the negative |
| You know the type - the person who can spot a | | | | comment focus on the gifts, talents and |
| flaw from across the room, gives unsolicited | | | | strengths that you possess. |
| advice, frequently complains and passes | | | | 5. Be careful about what you share with the |
| judgment, is negative and seems impossible to | | | | critical person |
| please. | | | | It's not always wise to share personal or |
| We can all be critical. Every day, we literally | | | | important information with a critic about yourself |
| critique everything that goes on around us | | | | or anyone else. Providing such information is |
| consciously and unconsciously. Unfortunately, | | | | asking for trouble because critical people often |
| some people tend to verbalize the thoughts many | | | | take things out of context, misinterpret or |
| of us have learned to keep to ourselves. When | | | | exaggerate information and place a negative spin |
| things don't go our way or we're in a bad mood it | | | | on ideas or opinions. Learn how to discern what |
| is easy to become critical. It's true, miserable | | | | you should and should not reveal. When in doubt, |
| people prefer miserable company. Critical people | | | | don't share. |
| actually feel better around others who share the | | | | 6. Don't join in on criticizing others |
| same negative attitudes. Before we spend time | | | | It can be easy to fall into the trap of criticizing |
| learning how to cope with other people's critical | | | | others when you're around a critical person. Joining |
| traits let's make sure we have our own well | | | | in on the criticism only serves to legitimize the |
| under control. | | | | behavior in the mind of the critic, and the |
| It can be quite challenging to get along with a | | | | transition into gossip is close behind. Today the |
| critic, especially when we live, work or attend | | | | criticism is about someone else - tomorrow it |
| church with them. Here are 10 tips to help you | | | | could be directed toward you. |
| get along better with critical people. | | | | 7. Limit the amount of time you spend with critical |
| 1. Understand what motivates people to be critical | | | | people |
| Hurting people hurt people. Most critics were | | | | It may be very appropriate to limit the amount of |
| criticized themselves as children and did not | | | | time you spend with a critic. This, of course, can |
| develop the sense of security and healthy identity | | | | be difficult if they happen to be your spouse, |
| that can come from positive nurturing. They tend | | | | parent or boss. However, it may be in your best |
| to have a low opinion of themselves and | | | | interest to let the person know that your level of |
| consequently feel best (although often frustrated) | | | | interaction with them will be based, in part, on |
| when attempting to achieve the unrealistic | | | | their willingness to communicate with you in a |
| standards they set for themselves and others. | | | | constructive and appropriate manner. If the critic |
| Critics are often motivated by the need to feel | | | | is your spouse you may benefit from consulting |
| better about themselves by putting other people | | | | with a professional marriage counselor. |
| down. Understanding their motivation can help us | | | | 8. Control your response to critical people |
| to develop empathy and compassion - two | | | | Pay close attention to how you respond to |
| qualities that will help you get along with critical | | | | criticism. If you tend to react with anger, hurt or |
| people. | | | | intimidation, you will encourage the critical behavior. |
| 2. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water | | | | Critical people are often motivated to behave the |
| Although critical people often lack diplomacy and | | | | way they do because of the response they |
| tact, they also tend to be able to size up people | | | | trigger in others. When you learn to not |
| and situations accurately. You may be tempted to | | | | overreact, the critic will likely move on to |
| discount what you hear, but listen carefully to | | | | someone who will. |
| what they say because there is often valuable | | | | 9. Try to understand the needs of the critical |
| information underneath the sharp edges of the | | | | person |
| message. | | | | The emotional "gas tank" of a critical person is |
| 3. Be willing to confront your critic | | | | often very low. Criticism is sometimes an |
| It is not easy to confront interpersonal problems, | | | | outward expression of an inward need - usually |
| but it is typically the best approach. Be willing to | | | | the need to feel worthwhile and significant. It is |
| tell the critic in your life how you feel about the | | | | surprising how a sincere compliment, |
| way they interact with you. This won't guarantee | | | | congratulations or demonstration of care and |
| change, however, by expressing your thoughts | | | | concern can improve your relationship. People with |
| and feelings you are in a better position to | | | | full emotional tanks are the least likely to mistreat |
| manage your own emotions and behaviors. | | | | others. |
| Emotional expression will decrease your chances | | | | 10. Maintain realistic expectations |
| of growing embittered, and consequently, doing or | | | | Critical people don't change overnight. Even if they |
| saying something you'll regret. | | | | are making positive progress, they are likely to |
| 4. Focus on the truth not on the criticism | | | | revert back to their old ways from time to time, |
| If someone puts you down, fight the temptation | | | | especially under stress. Realistic expectations will |
| to dwell on the criticism. If there is something you | | | | help guide your interactions and will likely result in |
| can learn from the message, do so, but then | | | | a healthier relationship. |