| We all have to deal with critical people at | | | | dwelling on the negative comment focus on the |
| times. You know the type - the person who can | | | | gifts, talents and strengths that you |
| spot a flaw from across the room, gives | | | | possess. |
| unsolicited advice, frequently complains and | | | | |
| passes judgment, is negative and seems | | | | 5. Be careful about what you share with the |
| impossible to please. | | | | critical person |
| | | | |
| We can all be critical. Every day, we | | | | It's not always wise to share personal or |
| literally critique everything that goes on | | | | important information with a critic about |
| around us consciously and unconsciously. | | | | yourself or anyone else. Providing such |
| Unfortunately, some people tend to verbalize | | | | information is asking for trouble because |
| the thoughts many of us have learned to keep | | | | critical people often take things out of |
| to ourselves. When things don't go our way or | | | | context, misinterpret or exaggerate |
| we're in a bad mood it is easy to become | | | | information and place a negative spin on |
| critical. It's true, miserable people prefer | | | | ideas or opinions. Learn how to discern what |
| miserable company. Critical people actually | | | | you should and should not reveal. When in |
| feel better around others who share the same | | | | doubt, don't share. |
| negative attitudes. Before we spend time | | | | |
| learning how to cope with other people's | | | | 6. Don't join in on criticizing others |
| critical traits let's make sure we have our | | | | |
| own well under control. | | | | It can be easy to fall into the trap of |
| | | | criticizing others when you're around a |
| It can be quite challenging to get along with | | | | critical person. Joining in on the criticism |
| a critic, especially when we live, work or | | | | only serves to legitimize the behavior in the |
| attend church with them. Here are 10 tips to | | | | mind of the critic, and the transition into |
| help you get along better with critical | | | | gossip is close behind. Today the criticism |
| people. | | | | is about someone else - tomorrow it could be |
| | | | directed toward you. |
| 1. Understand what motivates people to be | | | | |
| critical | | | | 7. Limit the amount of time you spend with |
| | | | critical people |
| Hurting people hurt people. Most critics were | | | | |
| criticized themselves as children and did not | | | | It may be very appropriate to limit the |
| develop the sense of security and healthy | | | | amount of time you spend with a critic. This, |
| identity that can come from positive | | | | of course, can be difficult if they happen to |
| nurturing. They tend to have a low opinion of | | | | be your spouse, parent or boss. However, it |
| themselves and consequently feel best | | | | may be in your best interest to let the |
| (although often frustrated) when attempting | | | | person know that your level of interaction |
| to achieve the unrealistic standards they set | | | | with them will be based, in part, on their |
| for themselves and others. Critics are often | | | | willingness to communicate with you in a |
| motivated by the need to feel better about | | | | constructive and appropriate manner. If the |
| themselves by putting other people down. | | | | critic is your spouse you may benefit from |
| Understanding their motivation can help us to | | | | consulting with a professional marriage |
| develop empathy and compassion - two | | | | counselor. |
| qualities that will help you get along with | | | | |
| critical people. | | | | 8. Control your response to critical people |
| | | | |
| 2. Don't throw the baby out with the bath | | | | Pay close attention to how you respond to |
| water | | | | criticism. If you tend to react with anger, |
| | | | hurt or intimidation, you will encourage the |
| Although critical people often lack diplomacy | | | | critical behavior. Critical people are often |
| and tact, they also tend to be able to size | | | | motivated to behave the way they do because |
| up people and situations accurately. You may | | | | of the response they trigger in others. When |
| be tempted to discount what you hear, but | | | | you learn to not overreact, the critic will |
| listen carefully to what they say because | | | | likely move on to someone who will. |
| there is often valuable information | | | | |
| underneath the sharp edges of the message. | | | | 9. Try to understand the needs of the |
| | | | critical person |
| 3. Be willing to confront your critic | | | | |
| | | | The emotional "gas tank" of a critical person |
| It is not easy to confront interpersonal | | | | is often very low. Criticism is sometimes an |
| problems, but it is typically the best | | | | outward expression of an inward need - |
| approach. Be willing to tell the critic in | | | | usually the need to feel worthwhile and |
| your life how you feel about the way they | | | | significant. It is surprising how a sincere |
| interact with you. This won't guarantee | | | | compliment, congratulations or demonstration |
| change, however, by expressing your thoughts | | | | of care and concern can improve your |
| and feelings you are in a better position to | | | | relationship. People with full emotional |
| manage your own emotions and behaviors. | | | | tanks are the least likely to mistreat |
| Emotional expression will decrease your | | | | others. |
| chances of growing embittered, and | | | | |
| consequently, doing or saying something | | | | 10. Maintain realistic expectations |
| you'll regret. | | | | |
| | | | Critical people don't change overnight. Even |
| 4. Focus on the truth not on the criticism | | | | if they are making positive progress, they |
| | | | are likely to revert back to their old ways |
| If someone puts you down, fight the | | | | from time to time, especially under stress. |
| temptation to dwell on the criticism. If | | | | Realistic expectations will help guide your |
| there is something you can learn from the | | | | interactions and will likely result in a |
| message, do so, but then move on. Instead of | | | | healthier relationship. |