Life is a Battle and Then Your Fire Goes Out

One thing that I have noticed during our eighteenNO idea how to use a Multimeter, I must have
months in America is this everything is an uphillbeen asleep for that lesson some years ago. I
battle. Everything is hard to figure out, fromprobed at the various pastel colored wires, while
completing your two hundred-page tax return; tostaring at the Multimeter and wondering what the
understanding what Southerners are actuallydisplayed numbers represented. To make sure
saying when they speak. Trying to figure out whythe Multimeter worked I stuck both probes into a
so many All-American companies have moreplug and it showed 118V. I figured that either I
foreigners answering their help desk telephoneshad gotten lucky for not getting shocked to
then Americans (or people who could conduct adeath, or the Multimeter was almost indestructible
partial conversation in English for that matter) isand idiot proof. I also have no doubt that the
another matter for serious study and debate. TheMultimeter's warrantee is officially null and void
fate of the entire universe lies within the battlesnow.After staring at the furnace for a good
fought to get the answers to thesetwenty minutes I decided to tighten all the screws
questions.Now don't get me wrong here, I don'tin the hope that a loose one would be the root
expect life to be easy by any means orcause of the problem. But still nothing happened,
standards. I just genuinely feel that I should notand to make matters worse the machine was
be fighting some of these battles; they deservenow completely dead and nothing worked at all.
to be fought by people who live in a tropicalThen, in a stroke of genius I figured out that I
paradise or by Dobbie your House Elf. The Queenneeded to go back downstairs and replace the
of England does not wash windows, Gandhi didthermostat cover and actually turn the heater on.
not bath, and Le Perdu (that's me) does not doI did this and found that still nothing worked. I
Thai massages, carpeting, deep-sea fishing orbroke out into a cold sweat and started having
American Football. I don't give refunds or do carvisions of writing a very large bank check out to
washes either.My newest battle came to an enda heater technician. Then I remembered that
last night and I figured that some of you mightthere is a safety switch on the front of the
get a kick out of my toils.I recently discoveredfurnace unit that requires the covering panels to
that although the Air Conditioner unit and blowersbe mounted before the unit will turn on. I
work, the furnace in my thirty six year old housemounted it, which caused the machinery to spring
was broken. I found this out when I turned theto life and start cold blowing air all over me.I
heater on and received a house full of roomstood their grinning like a triumphant idiot and had
temperature air. This is not very useful on a coldan intense sense of partial success, especially now
night. With winter coming along I figured that Ithat it was functioning at least as badly as it was
should attempt to fix it myself before shelling outbefore I started fiddling with it.Throughout this
some of my hard earned cash to pay adrama I was on the phone talking to a friend
handyman to fix it for me. A friend providednamed Richard, who lives in the UK, where it was
some advice as to how to trouble shoot the2AM. He is an electrician and he was trying to
problem, and depending on the results he gaveguide me through the saga of figuring out
some possible solutions. Since the weather has stillwhether the heater had electricity going to it or
been good lately I have been putting this task off,not. The fact that it is a gas unit that heats air
but last night I decided to put some time aside toand not water or oil had him completely stumped.
"fiddle" with it.What an ordeal.The first thing I didIn reality he was useless when it came to fixing
was remove the thermostat (which is downstairs)the furnace but the conversation was most
cover and then followed the heating and setupwelcome.Please click the link to read the rest of
instructions provided on the back of the cover tothis comical incident involving a gas furnace on a
the tee. No decent results (or heat) werecold winters night.Le Perdu is a contributing author
forthcoming, so I went upstairs and removed theon a growing site dedicated to random reading,
heaters front panels so I could check the currentobscure articles, and some rather 'out there'
flowing through various wires with a Multimeter. Itopinions. We dare to be different, and we are
is worth mentioning here that I have absolutelyalways looking for articles and authors.