| Within the last decade, the American workplace | | | | blood vessels. When this occurs in the uterus, it |
| has changed. Where there was free and open | | | | interferes with conception. |
| access, there are now layers of security. National | | | | Domar also took a long, hard look at a 10-week |
| EAPs have been virtually inundated with calls for | | | | mind/body workshop she created that included |
| debriefings, information sessions on trauma, and | | | | relaxation, yoga, imagery and cognitive |
| support services for employees. | | | | restructuring. By changing the negative thoughts |
| "It's acceptable now to have emotions in the | | | | ("I'll never have a baby") to positive thoughts ("I'm |
| workplace," says Kristen Nagle of Longview | | | | doing everything I can to get pregnant"), they |
| Associates in White Plains, NY. "Corporations have | | | | were able to change the body's response. The |
| been more sensitive to the psychological and | | | | data speak for themselves: Fifty-five percent of |
| emotional needs of employees virtually across the | | | | the women in the experimental group (those who |
| board. They know the importance of their | | | | used relaxation, yoga, imagery, and cognitive |
| support, particularly since 9/11. It's not only about | | | | restructuring) got pregnant, in contrast with only |
| productivity anymore. It's been about doing the | | | | twenty percent of women in a control group. |
| right thing." | | | | What we say to ourselves is as important as |
| Corporate support has taken many | | | | what we say to others. Equally important is how |
| forms--conferences, counseling services, trainings | | | | we say it. |
| on issues ranging from post-traumatic stress to | | | | Verbal First Aid: The Language of Healing |
| Internet security. Businesses have begun not only | | | | What we say can do more than change a frown |
| to react, but to respond proactively, giving their | | | | to a smile-it can generate a cascade of chemicals |
| employees the tools they need to handle | | | | that can turn off pain, reduce inflammation, or |
| emotional and physical crises. | | | | help stop bleeding. |
| For that reason, corporations are paying | | | | A young lady I know cut herself terribly and was |
| particularly close attention to Verbal First Aid | | | | bleeding profusely. When I got there, she was |
| because they are discovering that it is a way of | | | | already holding a compress to the wound, but she |
| using words in moments of crisis (emotional or | | | | was clearly very unnerved as was everyone else |
| physical) to calm, relieve pain, promote healing and | | | | around her. The bleeding was indeed copious. I |
| even save lives. How can words do that? | | | | took her aside and spoke to her firmly, calmly, |
| The Physical Power of Suggestion | | | | lovingly. "I'm here. I'm going to help you. Will you |
| I sit down with you across a table. I tell you | | | | do what I say?" She nodded, instantly and visibly |
| about my vacation in Argentina. I begin with a | | | | soothed, the tension draining from her face. I told |
| journey across the pampas, describing the endless | | | | her a story of another young girl who had been |
| fields of grass, a parting sea of sepia between | | | | hurt and had stopped the bleeding all by herself |
| the hooves of horses, tumbling and tearing up the | | | | and suggested to her that she, too, could stop |
| dry soil as we gallop towards the mountains in the | | | | the bleeding. Within a few minutes, she was able |
| distance. I tell you about the cold water we drink | | | | to stop the bleeding so that by the time she |
| as we come up to a mountain stream leading to | | | | arrived at the doctor's for treatment, truly the |
| a cave and the strain in our muscles as we get | | | | worst was over. |
| off the horses. You are with me as we swing our | | | | First and foremost, I "paced" her, which means |
| flashlights up to see the top of the cave, 50 feet | | | | that I matched her behavioral and emotional state |
| up, and the thousands of bats sleeping quietly | | | | by being present with her, in her discomfort and |
| there. | | | | her fear. I didn't rush in to "cheer her up" or |
| Every conversation is based on the power of | | | | dismiss her pain. But I did it with the calm, |
| suggestion. I tell you about my journey so that | | | | sure-footed authority that someone is willing to be |
| you can experience it with me. I share my joys | | | | guided by. Then, with that rapport, I "led" her to |
| and sorrows with you so you can feel what I feel. | | | | stop the bleeding. In that moment, I was able to |
| And just as words can take you around the | | | | speak directly with her body and offer the |
| world-through pampas or down the Seine-to | | | | therapeutic suggestions she needed to begin the |
| enjoyment, words can bring you pain. | | | | healing. |
| We all know this instinctively: a harsh word is | | | | Altered States-Portals to the Healing Zone |
| heard as a "punch in the gut." When we are | | | | When we are frightened, shocked, confused, hurt, |
| embarrassed, we all know the experience of | | | | worried, wounded, we go into what clinicians call |
| blood rushing to our faces and our hands | | | | "altered states" in which we "dissociate" slightly (or |
| sweating. When we are worried, we all can recall | | | | in some cases, a great deal) from our |
| the rapid beating of our hearts, the way our | | | | environments. In these moments, we are highly |
| bodies tremble, the dryness of our mouths. Our | | | | focused, most often on some internal process, |
| bodies and our minds are not just connected. | | | | which changes the way we see ourselves and the |
| They are one. | | | | world. It may not last longer than a few |
| Words Help, Words Harm | | | | moments. It may last years. |
| Stress, which many experts now define as the | | | | Some studies have suggested that symptoms of |
| effect of any strong emotion (fear, anger, pain, | | | | dissociation have been found in up to 96% of |
| sadness), has very clear physiological effects on | | | | those who were exposed to high levels of stress |
| our bodies. Our emotional and mental states | | | | (1). Other studies have suggested that even |
| affect our neuro-endocrine systems, our immune | | | | those witnessing a traumatic event showed |
| systems, even our reproductive systems. | | | | marked alterations in consciousness (2). |
| Alice Domar, Ph.D., a researcher at Harvard | | | | We have found that people in those |
| Medical School recently conducted a study that | | | | states-whether they occur when your boss walks |
| showed the positive effects of stress-reduction | | | | into your office with an angry look on her face, |
| on women who were trying to get pregnant. She | | | | or you've been in a car accident-are highly |
| contended that psychological distress can have | | | | sensitive to what is being said to them and what |
| effects on multiple systems: inhibition of | | | | is going on around them. When people are scared, |
| hypothalamic GnRH, activation of the | | | | we look for a benevolent authority to tell us what |
| hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, and alterations | | | | to do, how to find safety. It is instinctive to all |
| of the immune system. Adrenaline is a by-product | | | | social animals. What we do and say in those |
| of many forms of stress. And while adrenaline | | | | moments is particularly important. Do we use |
| helps us to prepare for emergency action, the | | | | those sensitive moments thoughtlessly, fanning |
| chemical cascade it initiates inhibits our ability to | | | | the flames of anxiety or do we serve as a |
| repair ourselves, to digest food properly, or to | | | | guiding light to lead someone to emotional and |
| reproduce. Epinephrine (one of the secretions of | | | | physical safety. With Verbal First Aid, the choice |
| the adrenal glands) has been shown to constrict | | | | and the task are easy. |